


Desperate

by cschoolgirl, RogueLotus



Category: X-Men (Movies), X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: F/M, shipperfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2018-04-13 05:18:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4509312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cschoolgirl/pseuds/cschoolgirl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RogueLotus/pseuds/RogueLotus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Look Logan, I think you need to decide what you want from me. And until you know where I fit into your life, I think it would be best if we don’t spend time together.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Jamie for the beta all those years ago on the first chapter. Thank you to Margaret for a beta and some sage advice before I abandoned it in the first place. This fic was originally abandoned, because I'm not good with angst and couldn't see my way out of this mess. Fortunately for all of you, Roguelotus has adopted it and our favorite couple will get a chance at fixing their problems.
> 
> * * *

Rogue should have known their plans didn't constitute a date. "Can we do that next week? I have a date tonight." 

She tried not to let her disappointment show through her smile. "Oh, that's okay." Sighing, she continued, "Don't worry about me, next weekend will be fine."

"Good, see ya' later," Turning away from her, Logan continued his descent down the staircase.

"Yeah, catch ya' later…"

* * *

Slamming the door behind her, she marched to her bureau looking for something to throw. After finding nothing she wished to part with she surveyed the items on both roommates' dressers. Surely they had something meaningless that would shatter in to a thousand little pieces.

Kitty stepped out from the bathroom, two lipsticks in her hand. "Rogue, which…hey, quit eyeing my stuff like you need something to break."

Jubilee stuck her head out the bathroom door. "If you're looking to break things, I suggest trying Wolvie's room." Withdrawing from the room, "besides he's the one that pissed you off."

"How do you know that?" Rogue huffed.

"Please," Kitty replied in exasperation, "He's the only one around the mansion that gets you this worked up."

Rogue flopped on her bed, suddenly out of steam. "I'm not that obvious am I?"

"Yes," came the combined answer from the bathroom. 

Hiding her face in the pillows, she issued a pitiful, "I'm so pathetic. No wonder he brushed me off for a real date." Jubilee and Kitty broke into fits of laughter that drew Rogue from the bed to the bathroom door. “What?”

Turning toward her, dark hair still wrapped around the curling iron, Jubilee smiled, “Chica, there’s not much you could do to make that man notice you're no longer 16. He has a thick head and it’s not the adamantium that makes it that way.”

Studying the tiled floor, Rogue sighed, “I’m wasting my time, aren’t I?”

Kitty glanced over from where she leaned toward the mirror putting on mascara, “only until reality hits him like a ton of bricks. Until then, why don’t you come out with us?”

“Club hopping?” asked Rogue.

“Yeah, there’s plenty of time for you to get ready," replied Jubilee, still fussing with her hair. "We’ll just have to grab something quick to eat here before we jet.” 

“Sounds fine, but I don’t have anything to wear.” Rogue answered as she watched her two friends.

Rolling her eyes, Jubilee set the hairspray down and pulled Rogue into the bedroom. “Really girl, between our three closets, we’ll find something.” 

Kitty joined Jubilee as she descended on Rogue’s closet. The two busied themselves opening shoeboxes and pushing hangers around.

“Rogue, you’ve been holding out on us,” was Kitty’s cry from the bottom of the closet. She stood up dangling in front of Jubilee a pair of long black leather boots.

"Fuck me boots," Jubilee whispered turning a questioning eye on Rogue.

Red with embarrassment Rogue shrugged, "Logan gave me a gift certificate to a leather store last Christmas."

"That must have been some certificate," Jubilee stated. "Don't tell me he helped you pick these out?"

Rogue's blush deepened, "No, I told him I bought boots, he never asked to see them."

"I bet not." Jubilee turned her attention back to the closet for a second, and then pulled out a long sleeved knit mini dress. "The boots will look great with this."

"I can't wear that," Rogue protested. "It was an impulse buy and it's too tight."

Scrutinizing the dress Kitty asked, "too tight makes you look fat or too tight makes you look hot?"

Rogue was left alone to change while Jubilee and Kitty argued over the best makeup choices to complete her attire.

* * *

He couldn’t believe it, she was drooling. He should have called her a cab hours ago, but she insisted on staying at the cookout where she was having a good time.

Late in the evening Logan sought refuge, from her constant chattering, in the rec room. He settled in with a whiskey and a game. An hour later Lisa…Linda…Lynn found him and proceeded to ruin the game. When he originally made the date, her talking hadn’t bothered him, now he was wishing he had gone ahead with his plans with Marie. 

Definitely should have called the cab for her hours ago. He was staying up to talk to Marie and didn’t need what’s her name hanging around, even if she was asleep.

Thinking of Marie, he didn’t know what exactly to address with her first. He had caught a glimpse of her with Jubilee and Kitty as they headed out for the evening. He’d stewed all night on what to tell her. He should probably start with the clothes and the thigh-high boots that encased her long legs.

Mid thought he heard their car drive past the gates long before the key lock beeped on the front door. He made his way to the foyer and leaned against the wall, he surveyed the trio as they tiptoed in.

Kitty stumbled into Jubilee’s back as she came to a sudden halt. “Hey, why’d we stop?” Kitty peered around Jubilee and began giggling. “Oops, watchdog on duty.”

Rogue brought up the rear and let out a heavy sigh when she saw Logan. Kitty started giggling again talking about reality and bricks. Logan scowled at them as Jubilee hustled Kitty up the stairs. 

Rogue waited until her friends cleared the top of the stairs before she turned on him. “I don’t know why you’re even upset. From what I remember you had other plans for tonight. So there is no reason I couldn’t go out and have fun with my friends.” She looked for some sign that he had just walked in himself. “Why are you even here?”

He looked at her sternly, “You can have fun with your friends, but that doesn’t mean you can dress like a…”

Rogue's temper flared, “Oh no, you don’t. Last time I checked I wasn’t your daughter and I’m certainly not your girlfriend and even if I was you wouldn’t get to dictate what I wear.”

“It’s not decent Marie.”

“No Logan, it’s fine.” He was riveted to the spot as she grabbed the hem of her dress and hiked it up her thighs. “This is indecent,” Rogue stated flatly. 

He couldn’t help but stare, because if he tilted his head just right…She snapped her fingers in front of his face to get his attention. “They're black satin," she said in the same flat tone.

His gaze traveled back down her body, this time focusing in on the couple of new inches of thigh exposed. Her skin looked smooth and he needed to know if it felt that way. He closed the distance between them, quickly walking her back into the wall. When his fingers skated across her skin, he caught the hitch in her breath and desire in her eyes.

Rogue hissed out his name, letting her head fall to the side. It surprised him, as he hadn’t moved his hand any further than the first contact. He turned into her then as he slid his fingers up her thigh, under the material of her dress, to the curve of her hip. 

Logan cupped her ass with both hands, lifting her until her hips cradled his. He sought out her lips as she began pulling up his shirt. She eagerly returned his kiss, running her hands across his chest. She was beginning to make soft little noises at the back of her throat as his hands explored further up her body.

A noise sounded from the rec room. Breaking the kiss, she looked questioningly at him. “It’s nothing,” he whispered into her hair. 

She seemed to believe him or at least didn’t care when he began nibbling his way down her neck. Her hands that had momentarily stilled were now busy unfastening his belt and jeans. He knew at this pace before long they would need a condom, but Rogue didn’t seem concerned. He braced himself, holding her firmly against the wall, separating out their ragged breathing and wondering how they had so quickly gotten to this point. 

Once more a snore sounded from the nearby room, only this time Rogue's head snapped down. Her forehead was wrinkled in concentration; even Logan couldn’t deny anything when his name was called sleepily from the darkness of the other room.

“Oh god, no!” Rogue was pushing him away, scrambling to gain her footing. “Let go of me!”

Stumbling back, he could only stare as she furiously tried to correct her clothing. He had enough sense to tuck himself back in before anything else went wrong. “Marie, I…”

“I don’t want to hear it.” She fixed him with a glare. He could see the anger rising again, “I’m not so desperate for you that I want to lose my virginity, while your date is sleeping on the couch twenty feet away.”

He opened his mouth to say something, any thing that wouldn’t make it worse, but Rogue didn’t let him. “Look Logan, I think you need to decide what you want from me. And until you know where I fit into your life, I think it would be best if we don’t spend time together.”

Rogue made it halfway up the stairs before he called after her. The distance between them was too great to smell the tears, but Logan heard the tremor in her voice when she spoke. “Not tonight, okay. I don’t want anymore regrets.” 

He stared into the blackness at the top of the stairs long after she disappeared. Finally; he turned, he had a cab to call and a fifth to finish off.

~*~


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A big thank you to cschoolgirl for letting me adopt her fic; when I first read it, I kept going back and reading again because it was so compelling. I knew that I just couldn't leave Logan and Marie in this bind. Hopefully I will do them and cschoolgirl justice. ~RogueLotus

Rogue lay on her side in silence, curled up into a ball under the covers.  Another tear ran over the bridge of her nose and down the side of her face, disappearing into the big wet spot on her pillow; Jubes and Kitty were passed out in their own beds, blissfully unaware of her crying only a few feet away.  Thank goodness they were not aware of what had just transpired; it was embarrassing enough already.  As she played out the whole scene in her mind over and over again, she went through the gamut of emotions; anger, when Logan had the nerve to disapprove of her outfit; surprise, then satisfaction when she realized that Logan was looking at her in a way that was very, shall we say, _unbrotherly_ ; an immediate rush of desire, when Logan had backed her into the wall and skimmed his hand along her thigh; pure lust mixed with joy as he kissed and touched her body, an act she stupidly assumed meant he reciprocated her feelings for him; and then finally, horrible, sickening realization that Logan's date was still there, sleeping on the couch just feet away.

Rogue could feel her face turning red at the thought.  How desperate she must have appeared;  Logan barely even touched her and within seconds she was practically spreading her legs for him to take her right then and there in the foyer.

She could just hear her mama lecturing her now.  _Wait for the right person, Marie.  Someone who loves you.  Respects you._ Well, wouldn't her mama be proud.  Rogue was about to throw away her virginity on a meaningless fuck, with someone who obviously didn't respect or love her. 

Rogue drew in a ragged sigh and flipped onto her back, staring at the ceiling.  Ever since she learned to control her mutation, she had been itching to catch up on all the physical contact that she missed out on when she was a teenager.  How many times had she fantasized about all the social experiences she would garner once she was touchable?  Being kissed, being touched, being made love to...hell, being fucked senseless in a one night stand, she admitted if she was being honest with herself.  But when it came down to it, fantasy was all it was.

The very same day that Rogue had bounded into her room and proudly announced to her roommates that she had finally learned control, Jubilee had spread the word through every social circle she knew.  Next thing Rogue knew, she had a slew of guys lined up for a date and her dance card was full for weeks.  She went out with a few, even let a few kiss her.  They were all nice boys.  But those boys were not what she wanted.

Rogue huffed to herself.  If she had known that Logan would continue to brush her off as a kid, only to turn around later and treat her like one of his cheap, slutty dates...well, she might not have been so quick to toss aside those boys without a thought.  Ugh, so much wasted time, pinning her hopes on Logan, thinking she could ever be more to him.

Rogue got out of bed and slipped into the bathroom to take a shower.  As the hot spray hit her shoulders, she sighed and tilted her head back to let the soothing water run down her body.  She wished she could wash away those pesky feelings for Logan that stubbornly pervaded in her heart as easily as she washed away the soap from her skin.  It would make her life so much simpler if she could just turn off her emotions.  Or at least turn off the ones that made her want Logan.

She should be busy hating him right now, writing him off for good.  This man was like a bad habit that she needed to break, an addiction that she needed to kick.  Instead, she let her mind idly wander back to the moment when Logan's hands were sliding up her hips beneath her dress...his hot mouth on her lips and then down her neck...feather light touches grazing over her nipples...fingers finding their way up her inner thigh...little moans escaping her lips...

"Dammit!" she cursed, looking down with realization.  She was touching herself, again!  Another Logan addiction she seemed helpless to resist, she thought wryly.  Ugh, she was so weak.  She turned off the water and quickly wrapped herself in a towel, trying not to think about the feel of the fabric brushing over her sensitized skin.  She stepped out of the tub and walked over to sink.  For a long moment, she just stood there, staring at the foggy mirror.  What was she doing?  Is this what she had been reduced to?  She didn't remember another time in her life when she allowed all pride and self-respect to fly right out the window like this.  A blurry shadow of herself stared back at her through the fogged mirror.

This wasn't her.  She was stronger than this.  The Rogue she knew was smart, sassy, tough, independent and confident; not this tearful, pathetic person who allowed herself to be grateful for whatever scraps a man was willing to throw her.  If Logan didn't want to be with her-- _really_ be with her, not like the travesty that happened downstairs--it was his loss, not hers!  She was tired of living her life in limbo, waiting for him to come to his senses and hinging her happiness on whether or not he returned her feelings.  This simply would not do.  No, not any more.

"Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'", she murmured to herself.  Well, she planned on living.  No more feeling sorry for herself.  No more following Logan around like a puppy dog.  No more arranging her schedule so that she could just "happen" to bump into Logan, and no more acting like a lovesick fool.  And certainly no more letting her good sense fly out the window just from a single touch by Logan!  Her mind was made up; things were going to be very different from now on.

Rogue wiped her hand across the mirror.  Two fierce brown eyes stared back at her through the streak in the fog.  She saw something in those eyes that she hadn't seen in a long time, and immediately she was reminded of Iris, the heroine of her favorite movie, _The Holiday_.  She and Iris had quite a bit in common, Rogue mused.  They were both strong, vibrant women who needed start acting like it and stop mooning over a man who would never appreciate them.

"You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for god's sake!" she said, wiping the rest of the fog away.  She lifted her chin and fixed her steely gaze on the woman in the mirror, straightening her back and squaring her shoulders as her conviction grew.

"Who are you talking to?" Jubilee yawned as she shuffled into the bathroom.

"To myself, Jubes.  Channeling my inner Iris.  Apparently I needed a good talking to."

Jubilee paused and looked at Rogue.  "Um, ok...So, how'd it go with Wolvie?"

Rogue turned her face and looked at Jubilee.  "Don't ask.  It doesn't matter anyway.  I'm done with all of that.  I'm done with him."

Jubilee cocked an eyebrow.  "Really."  Her voice carried a tone of disbelief.  "Done with Logan."

"Done with Logan."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

There was long period of silence as Jubilee wrapped her head around this interesting turn of events.  She found it hard to believe that Rogue could or would quit Logan cold turkey like this.  Rogue didn't just have a crush on the thick-skulled ape; she loved him.  And you don't simply stop loving someone just because you make up your mind to stop loving him.

Still, Jubilee couldn't help thinking that maybe this was a good thing for Rogue.  Maybe a good thing for Logan, too.  It was about time Rogue started enjoying herself, especially now that she was touchable.  And Logan...well, Logan would figure it out eventually and get his head out of his ass.  In the meantime, Rogue would have a little fun, and maybe learn a little something about herself.  Jubilee didn't know where this sudden conviction came from, but she was glad to see Rogue show a little sass.

"Well alright, then," Jubilee said with a nod.  "Girl, I don't know what's gotten into you, but I like it."

Rogue smiled at herself in the mirror.  "I don't know...but I think what I've got is something slightly resembling...gumption!"

* * *

 

Logan waited until the last student exited the gym before heading to the door himself.  He was hoping that this time, when he walked out into that hallway, Rogue would be waiting for him to walk her to lunch like she usually did, but he knew that she wouldn't be.  He hadn't seen her for days.

He knew he had fucked up.  But he was kind of hoping that she would cool off after a day or two of ignoring him and they could go back to normal.  Normal meaning Marie doting on him while he went about his business, enjoying said doting whenever the opportunity presented itself.

They had this routine they followed when he did something to piss her off, and it was always the same.  First, she'd give him the silent treatment.  That never lasted long.  Then, slowly, she'd come around little by little, starting with an occasional glance casted his way, which eventually would progress to eye contact; then allowing reluctant one-word answers to his pointed questions.  He'd joke and tease her a little, flash a charming smile, and despite herself, she'd crack a smile and then he'd know that he was off the hook.  That night, she'd find a way to let him turn her up sweet without him even trying; maybe she'd just happen to be in the lounge with a plate of nachos when he was heading there to watch the hockey game or something.  He'd plop down next to her uninvited, reach for her nachos, and she'd give him that look--part 'oh no you didn't' and part secretly pleased.  He loved that look.

They'd banter back and forth for a minute or two, which would turn into laughs, and next thing you know, she'd be leaning on his arm, watching the game with a smile on her face.  The next day she'd be back to her usual self and all would be right with the world.

Logan knew it wouldn't be that easy this time. 

He still wondered how things had escalated so quickly that night, and winced at how quickly things had gone downhill.  One thing was for sure; the way Rogue looked that night, the way her luscious body felt in his hands, the way she tasted...how ready she was for him right then and there...well, let's just say that her grown-up status hit him like a ton of bricks.  His cock was growing hard just thinking about it.

He did feel bad about how things went down, what with Lisa or Linda or whatever the hell her name was, sawing logs in the rec room while he and Marie were getting intimate.  He wasn't deliberately trying to be disrespectful of Rogue; he just...God, when he saw that flash of creamy white skin on her thigh, and she started making those little sounds and responding to his touch...all common sense and reasonable thought just flew out the window.  He just couldn't think of anything else besides needing to hear his name, breathlessly wrung from her luscious lips over and over again...

Logan growled at the memory, causing a passing student to squeak and scurry out of his way.  He cleared his throat and then looked up and down the hall for Rogue.  No sign of her anywhere.  Shit.  Well, maybe she needed just a little more time to come around, and then they could get back to normal.  And maybe, now that she had a little taste of Logan, she'd want to come back for the whole meal.  Hmm.  Maybe that could be the new normal, Logan thought hopefully.  But he was getting ahead of himself.  First things first; they were already in stage one of their Marie-is-pissed-at-Logan routine.  Now all he had to do was move them on to stage two, which was getting her to cast furtive glances his way, and the ball would be set in motion.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, if you've never seen The Holiday, starring Kate Winslet, Jack Black, Jude Law, and Cameron Diaz, you need to stop what you are doing and go watch it. One of my favorite movies ever; hubby and I watch it every December around the holidays.


	3. Chapter 3

Rogue zipped up her uniform with trepidation. So far she had managed to successfully avoid Logan all of two weeks, but seeing him, and possibly talking to him today would be inevitable. Today was mandatory team practice in the Danger Room.

The biggest danger, she knew, would be Logan's heightened senses. No matter how resolute she was in breaking free from him, she had a very real fear that if she got too close to him, her body would betray her. She couldn't deny that she was still attracted to him, and he would sense that.

She had tried, she really had. Kitty and Jubilee had been on a mission to find her a man, everyday of those two weeks. Jubilee had even set her up with the cute bouncer at one of the bars. They hit it off and things were great until he kissed her. He'd been a good kisser too, but it did nothing for her. No, she wouldn't lie to herself. Even as they kissed, she couldn't close her eyes tight enough to imagine those fingertips sneaking under her shirt belonged to a certain tall, dark and growly feral. 

Rogue knew she still had it bad for Logan. What had he done lately to deserve her love? Looking at herself in the locker mirror, she blinked. This was bad. She didn't just have a huge thing for him, she loved him. That inner Iris better be with her today.

She slammed her locker door and thought about beating her head on it for good measure. One wrong move and he would have all the evidence he needed. Sometimes just the look of him in uniform was enough to get her hot and bothered. Damn that man was sexy. And she was doomed.

There would be at least one life saving maneuver involved in today's training. There always was. As far back as Rogue could remember she and Logan had partnered up during team practices. It seemed as if everyone expected them to team up, because no one tried to pair off with them anymore.

"Hey!" Jubilee called from three lockers down. "You'll knock my stuff down." Her friend hastily moved items further back on the shelf. "What's got you so miffed?" Jubilee didn't need to ask; even after two weeks she could see Rogue's hardened resolve melting.

When Rogue had dropped Dave, the bouncer, like a hot rock; Jubilee had finally pressed for answers. At first, Rogue awkwardly admitted that Logan had touched her when they came back that night. Jubilee had been surprised that Logan would force himself on any woman, especially Rogue. Never the less, she swore to severely damage him in retribution. 

At Rogue's horrified look, a calm explanation prevailed. Rogue was too embarrassed to spill the gritty details, even to Jubilee, but she couldn't leave the impression that Logan forced himself on her. It wasn't as embarrassing as she feared to tell Jubilee that she was all for loosing her virginity in the foyer with the added humiliation of his date still being there. 

Jubilee understood Rogue's indignity and subsequent stance on Logan. The man had messed up monumentally. She would have found the situation great fodder if it didn't involve her best friend and the man her best friend loved.

"You know who," Rogue answered resting her head on the locker door. "We always team up and I be will spending a grueling hour trying not to get too close."

"Aw, chica, if it will help I will team up with you." Jubilee cast a glance at her friend. "Besides, Bobby could get used to standing on his own two feet for a change."

"That would be great, but he'll still know," Rogue said. Then at Jubilee's furrowed brow, "Heightened sense of smell."

"Ew! Don't say anything else. I don't want to know." Jubilee turned back to her locker and began rummaging through her emergency supplies. Unlike other people, Jubilee's emergencies usually called for mascara, eyeliner, or fingernail polish. "Here it is."

Jubilee produced a perfume bottle filled with an amber liquid. Before Rogue could say anything the other woman had enveloped her in a mist of the spray. For a second, Rogue thought a nuclear bomb had gone off, incinerating her eyeballs in its wake.

"Jubes, what the hell?" Rogue spat out as they both coughed. 

"It's musk," Jubilee stated, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Now I remember why I don't use it."

"I think I'm going to be sick." Rogue couldn't decide if she should hold her breath; passing out might be a good alternative.

* * *

"Nice of you to join us…" Scott started as Jubilee and Rogue came in to the Danger Room. "…I think." His voice slowly petered out when they came within a few feet of the other X-Men.

There was a round of coughing and sneezing among the gathered group. Scott tried to continue on with the target of the day's exercise. Rogue thought he did an admirable job with the commotion everyone was making.

"Alright, take your places," he commanded. This was the group's only cue that session was about to start.

Logan ambled in last minute. It was the easiest way to poke at Scott and Rogue would fill him in on anything important he hadn't heard from the hallway. Actually, he'd been impatiently waiting for this day. The day Marie could not avoid him. 

Last week's session had been canceled and he'd thought about hunting down whoever had made that decision. But decided not to push his luck. He needed to keep his head on straight if he was going to get back on Marie's good side. She'd kept the silent treatment up for a solid two weeks. That was the longest two weeks of his life. He hadn't even gotten close enough to her to make any kind of eye contact.

Mandatory team practice was his chance. He shook his head trying not to sneeze. What was that awful smell? It had been in the hall, but he didn't have time to track it down. Now it was stronger in the Danger Room. Probably one of those kids and their body washes. He still remembered trying to pack his nose with cotton balls the time Bobby had dowsed himself in that stuff.

Quickly spotting Rogue, he walked toward her and Jubilee. He came to a dead stop. He'd found the source of that wretched smell. The one that singed his nose hairs and made his eyes water. Jubilee gave him a nervous laugh and pulled Rogue over to the far side of the room.

Logan let them go. He was at a loss of what to do. He couldn't remember the last time he hadn't teamed up with Marie, but he didn't think he could get past that smell for an hour. Taking several steps toward them, he stopped again. The pungent smell of musk only grew stronger. He wouldn't last five minutes. Reluctantly he walked off in the other direction.

Rogue watched him go. It was one thing to avoid Logan; it was something else entirely for him to avoid her. He'd never given her the slip, even when she was pissed at him. This hurt worse than the initial humiliation. She glanced around the room and saw the odd looks the rest of the team were giving each other. 

First the stench and now Logan turning his nose up at her, literally. Well folks, pull up a seat, get comfy, and watch Rogue's life slowly fall apart.

She glared at Jubilee. It wasn't really Jubes fault, but it made Rogue momentarily feel better to blame it all on Jubilee's plan. She was glad that Jubes' back was to her, so Jubes didn't see the nasty face she'd made. Nope, Rogue had made her life a mess before Jubilee even put a finger in to help. Time to pull on her big girl panties and at the very least survive this session without looking more foolish than necessary.

Logan found his comfort zone was a good dozen feet or so. Any closer and he started sneezing or coughing or both. It was still close enough to see the hurt look in her eyes every time he backed away. Damn it, today was supposed to be his day to get a toe in the door, to move their routine along to "Rogue-is-no-longer-pissed-at-Logan" status. How was he supposed to get her to smile and cast furtive glances his way when her eyes were full of hurt?

The best he could do was keep an eye on her from a far. She and Jubilee made an effective enough team that he didn't worry too much about her. It wasn't like he needed to be concerned; Marie was a capable young woman.

He glanced over to find his eyes roaming her lithe body, encased in curve hugging leather. When her eyes meet his, he gave her a fleeting, apologetic smile. Her sensual lips turned up, returning the smile and setting his loins on fire. The biggest acknowledgement of his existence in two weeks. One step at a time, Logan. One step at a time.

The better part of a half hour later, he was sure he'd ruined the one small foothold he'd gained. Jubilee and Rogue had been split up, when a piece of debris went flying straight for Rogue. Within seconds he realized she had yet to see it. Nothing in the Danger Room would kill you, but that didn't mean it wouldn't hurt like hell.

Executing a perfect flying tackle; Logan caught up Rogue, cradling her head to his chest so she wouldn't hit it as they tumbled across the floor. When they came to a stop, she raised her head to stare at him. The debris smashed mere feet from them, showering them with small particles.

"Logan," she whispered. It was a soft hopeful sound, which reminded him all the world of their intimate encounter. All the blood in his body immediately rushed south and he sucked in a shaky breath. 

It was the wrong thing to do. He unceremoniously dumped her on the floor as he scrambled away wheezing and coughing. Cursing between coughs at Jubilee, he was sure the mess was some half-baked plan she'd hatched.

* * *

Rogue was the last one out of the showers. She'd spent twenty minutes or more scrubbing the perfume from her body. After washing her hair three times, she'd gotten Storm to give it a sniff to make sure it didn't stink. Rogue was positive that her uniform should be burned, not simply cleaned. The X-Women had assured her that she smelled of nothing but soap. However, she knew that wouldn't be the same with Logan.

She'd noticed the way he crinkled his nose when he got too close to her. He'd blinked away red eyes more than once. She might as well have been waving a skunk under his nostrils.

Didn't matter anyway, he never waited for her. That was her job. She wanted to get mad all over again at the way she had trailed around after him in the past. But less than an hour ago he'd held her, even if it was part of a 'life saving maneuver'. His body had responded to her closeness. Surely that counted for something.

Rogue shook her head. Ugh, she had to stop this line of thinking! Sighing heavily, she tossed her towels in the hamper. Rogue knew she must have washed her gumption off in the shower.

Logan was leaning against the wall when she entered the hallway. Confused, she checked both directions and then eyed him again. He smiled his smile that charmed the pants off women, not the usual charming little sister smile reserved for her. Rogue had yet to see him direct that smile directed at her, so she quickly checked over her shoulder for the gorgeous woman that was standing behind her. Uh…just the two of them, all alone in the hall. Skepticism crept in. Logan wasn't trying to charm her pants off...was he?

Didn't matter. It was a good thing she was immune she told herself as she turned toward the elevator. He quickly fell instep with her. 

"Thought I'd check to make sure you were okay," Logan said, stepping on the elevator with her.

"I'm fine, thanks." Aw, he was apologizing. She tried unsuccessfully to keep the smile from her face.

They were off to a good start Logan thought. She'd accepted his smile and smiled in return. Almost off the hook, though he should probably throw in an apology for good measure.

"Last time we talked," he began. Rogue looked up at him, eyes filled with …hope? "It was a big mistake."

A little bit of light went out of her eyes and she turned to face the doors of the elevator. Whatever small gain he thought he'd made had been lost. Fuck it, he jabbed the stop button and placed himself between her and the doors. Gently he placed a finger under her chin and carefully raised her face.

"Not you! Never you. Nothing I've ever done with or for you has been a mistake." At his words her face softened and he knew this might be his only chance to come clean with her. "But the way I went about it that night was a huge mistake."

Something in him responded to the way her breathing had quickened. He looked at her luscious lips and remembered how they tasted. Logan skimmed his thumb across them, warm and inviting. Her eyes had dilated and her heart was beating a wild tune in her chest. He wanted to taste her lips again and hold her body against his.

"Marie, I get thrown off balance when you're close like this. You make the blood pound in my ears and all rational thought goes out the window."

Rogue bit her lip as the corner of her mouth pulled up in a little smile. She looked into his eyes, dark with desire and yet so sincere.

"I know just what you mean, Logan," she murmured. She closed her eyes as Logan came down closer, and felt his lips press against hers in a kiss so sweet and tender and sexy, it stole her breath away.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more RogueLotus than me.
> 
> Edit: Hey now! It was definitely a joint effort, my dear. You created the sandbox and were kind enough to let me play in it. :) xoxo, RogueLotus

Rogue huffed in frustration as she adjusted her uniform, pulling the zippers harshly. Stupid mission. She and Logan had just shared a beautiful, intimate kiss in the elevator, and then the call came: suit up, pronto. Why then, at that very moment, of all times? Ugh, couldn't the FOH wait 5 more minutes to launch their attack?

She wanted more in that moment, both physically and emotionally, and she was sure he did, too. God, that kiss was so good, it stole her breath away. Logan even admitted he had feelings for her, something he had never done before; and who knows what that would have led to, if they had just been able to stay in that moment a little longer. Her mind spun with the possibilities. For the first time in what seemed like a very long time, she could feel a glimmer of hope sparking in her chest. Maybe they were finally coming to an understanding.

All decked out on the flight line, they waited for the others to arrive. Rogue's heart fluttered as Logan sidled up closer to her; not actually touching her, but close enough that she could feel the heat emanating from his body as he invaded her personal space. He wasn't just beside her, either; he was turned into her, looking down at her with heated stares.

"I like you in the leather," he murmured quietly into her ear, causing goosebumps to form on her skin. "You're filling out that uniform quite nicely."

She blushed a deep shade of pink and smiled. "You're not so bad yourself, mister."

"Hmm," he smiled with hooded eyes. "I look even better out of uniform, darlin'. I bet you do, too."

Rogue bit her lip. "You think so?" She could feel her heart fluttering again. Logan was never like this with her; flirting and making eyes was something reserved for others.

"Mmhmm," he answered. "I think we should--"

"Well, well isn't this cozy," Jubilee teased as she came into the hanger bay. "Nice to see you two getting intimate."

It took only a moment for Logan's expression to change, almost like he'd been caught doing something wrong. Rogue's hopes were dashed just as quickly.

He greeted Jubilee with a grunt and left her with Rogue as he moved further away. Jubilee watched him go. "What happened to Mr. Grumpypants?"

Rogue stared at Logan, but he refused to meet her eyes. She shook her head in disbelief.

"He kissed me," Rogue stated flatly, her heart seizing up.

"Chica, that's a good thing...right?" Jubilee smiled, but needed confirmation as Rogue's face told a different story.

"I thought it was," Rogue smiled weakly in return. "It was everything I wanted it to be, it left me breathless."

"He told you he loved you?" Jubilee pressed.

Rogue sighed, twisting her lips in thought. "Not outright, but he said I make him lose 'all rational thought'."

Jubilee laughed, earning her a dirty look from Logan who was halfway across the hanger bay. "Wow, Chica, that's admitting a lot for Logan."

"I know," Rogue nodded, watching Logan fiddle with his uniform. "But I don't think.... Damn it, why do I keep doing this?"

"Aw, Chica," Jubilee rubbed her friend's arm. "Cause you love the big lug. You just need to get up your gumption thingie again and face this head-on."

"I know, do this like adults and talk."

"Or," Jubilee offered. "There's always kissing and groping." Jubilee laughed again as Rogue rolled her eyes at her.

* * *

Jean checked Logan's vitals one more time and then covered him with a light blanket. It was a surprise seeing him come back to the jet on a stretcher. Logan must have been distracted, Scott told her later; the jet had barely landed before he was blowing out the door, heading straight into the thick of things. Not entirely unusual, him itching to get to the fight, but he was always big on tactical planning with Scott, and made sure he did a rundown with the team one last time before they got off the jet.

It was a hard battle. True to Logan's nature, he fought without regard for the consequences to his body, and he took a hit. Only this hit was harder, more direct than he would normally take. He had been injured countless times before, but he wasn't careless about it, so for him to get taken out like this, he must not have had his mind on the fight. Jean had some idea of why that would be, and she was sure it had to do with Rogue.

Jean wanted to laugh at these two but she knew all to well from her own experience how hard it was to maintain a relationship, especially in a mansion full of people who expected you to act a certain way. (If she had a nickel for every time people thought she and Scott never argued or had perfect communication because she was telepathic.) Add into the whole mess that Rogue was inexperienced and Logan did most of his communicating in grunts, well they had a hard road ahead of them.

Rogue was quite insistent on staying by Logan's side from the moment they got back from the mission even though she was clearly exhausted. Jean shooed her away for a shower and a change of clothes, with a promise to let her know if he came to. A direct blast of energy to the head, even one encased in metal, would knock even the Wolverine for a loop, but he would be just fine.

She sat down, finishing a little paperwork from earlier when she heard Logan groan from across the room. Glancing at the clock, she was surprised that over a half hour had gone by. It seemed the paperwork required for the school mounted with each passing year.

The bed's guardrail clanked and she jumped up, bolting for the bed on the other side of the room. Just as she suspected, Logan had dropped the guardrail and was struggling to get out of bed. "Oh no, you don't!" Jean commanded, focusing her telekinetic powers on him.

He harrumphed at her and struggled even more, grabbing for the nearby IV stand and sending it clattering to the floor. Climbing halfway off the bed, he managed to pull off his monitor patch and gown in his effort to gain traction against her 'grip'. He was being stubborn, and even without her telepathy she could have sensed his semi-conscious state of mind.

Jean reached him, physically pushing on his chest and shoulder with her hands. He grabbed her waist, trying to grapple with her. With her mind she reached out to him, coaxing him to awareness, and finally, after several moments, he began to relax.

"Logan, can you hear me?"

He took in a steadying breath and looked up at her. "Jeannie?" he spoke, his voice gravelly.

She smiled, glad to see him coming to his senses. "Hey. Glad you're finally coming around. How are you feeling?"

"Like a million bucks," he grunted, coughing a little at the end.

"Lay back," she ordered, pushing on his chest.

He resisted her push and attempted to stand up. "I'm fine," he insisted, his voice growing stronger, his eyes clearer with every passing moment.

"You took a major hit, Logan. Even if you think you're fine, you should rest for a little bit."

"It was nothin'," he grumbled, looking a little embarrassed.

"It wasn't nothing. Not if it knocked you out for several hours." She took a light pen from her pocket and began checking his pupils. "Rogue was very worried."

At the mention of Rogue's name, he stilled. "Rogue?"

"She waited by your bedside the whole night."

He sat for a moment, saying nothing. "She was with me all night?"

"Mmhmm," Jean answered, clicking the light pen off and tucking it into her pocket. "She was looking pretty worn out, so I made her go take a break."

Logan didn't answer, but Jean could tell that this new information affected him.

"It shouldn't come as a surprise; she's always looking after you. She's been at your side since day one. You and Rogue are like...two peas in a pod."

Again Logan said nothing, but she noticed him shift uncomfortably and look away. It seemed strange to her that he would suddenly become uncomfortable at the mention of their relationship. It was common knowledge around the mansion that these two were as close to being a couple as two people could be, without actually being a couple. Everyone was just waiting for them to take that final step. What was holding them back?

"I think Rogue has always been a little more than taken with you," Jean said, trying to sound casual. "I used to think it was just a crush, but I can see it's become much more than that. I think everyone is just glad to see you two finally getting together."

At that, Logan's eyes darted to hers. "I think everyone has the wrong idea and they need to mind their own business." He moved to get up.

"Logan, I'm not finished with my exam. It's proper medical procedure." She placed her hands on his chest to stop him.

"I don't need medical attention. I'm all healed up now, good as new."

"Be that as it may," Jean replied, ignoring his statement, "I want you to lay back and let me check your vitals and perform a few scans." She exerted pressure on his chest again, but he refused to lay back.

Logan paused and glanced down, eyeing her hands on his bare chest, and looked up again, a smirk forming on his lips as if an idea had just occurred to him. "You wanna check me out, huh?"

She huffed and removed her hands from his chest. "I want to check your vitals," she corrected him.

"Just my vitals?" he asked with a little twinkle in his eye.

Clearly Logan was already back to his old self, Jean thought wryly. Still, she was not going to be thrown off by his sudden change in tactics. "Logan...please. Just lay back and let me do this."

He cocked his eyebrow at her and said nothing, his smirk growing bigger. Jean crossed her arms and shot him a stern look.

"Alright, Red, whatever you say." He leaned back to lay on the bed, lacing his hands behind his head, his expression one of sexy arrogance. "Go ahead, examine me all you want."

Jean rolled her eyes, biting back a smile. "Just your vitals and a quickscan. Then I'll release you."

"You'll release me? Does that mean there will be handcuffs involved?" he said with a smirk again. "Sounds kind of kinky."

She ignored him and began taking his blood pressure. After she finished his vitals, she escorted him to the scanner and directed him to the sliding table. "Here," she motioned for him to lie down.

"I remember this machine. My first day at the mansion, when you couldn't wait to get my shirt off." He watched her as she pressed a few buttons on the control panel, ignoring his comment. "Looks like some things never change."

She paused and looked at him, narrowing her eyes.

"Plenty of room on this table for two, darlin'," he said smugly. "Care to join me?"

"I don't think so," she replied.

"Why not?" Logan got up from the table suddenly and stood closely in front of Jean, almost touching her with his body. He twirled a lock of her red hair around his finger. "Afraid you might like it?"

Just then, they heard a gasp at the door. A pair of brown eyes stared at them in horror.

"Rogue--"

"I see you're not off balance around Jean, are you?"

Before he could say anything, Rogue spun on her heel and bolted down the hallway, a flurry of brown and white hair whipping behind her. Logan ran after her, catching up with her halfway to the elevator.

"Wait!" He grabbed her arm.

"Wait??" Rogue snapped, spinning around to face him. "Waiting for you is all I ever seem to do, Logan."

He stood there, at a loss for words.

"Rogue...I..."

"Save it, Logan. Did you know that there are cameras in the medbay? I saw and heard everything on Hank's monitor. I just came down to see it with my own two eyes, and for once, you didn't let me down."

With those words hanging in the air, Rogue yanked herself free and walked away, leaving Logan standing there in the hallway alone.


	5. Chapter 5

Rogue stood up so fast her chair almost toppled over. "Me!" she shouted, raising her hand at the same time.

Everyone's attention was suddenly on her; even Logan's who usually loitered near the back of the room leaning on the wall. She could feel his eyes boring holes into her and she hazarded a glance his direction. He was no longer leaning but was in his BS stance, as she liked to call it. 

Feet shoulder width apart, arms crossed over his chest, shoulders squared, basically an impenetrable wall of muscle. This was the stance he used when calling someone out on their bullshit. Logan was calling her out on what he considered her foolishness. 

A flush of embarrassment began to burn its way across her face. Looking at those present for the meeting still staring at her expectantly, she slowly lowered her hand. Something else entirely different began to ignite a fire up her spine and the embarrassment faded. She didn't know if it was gumption, her inner Iris, or what, but she had nothing to be ashamed about.

Clearing her throat she found her voice. "Sorry, I meant that I would like to volunteer to help Ms. Frost at the West coast school."

Collectively all eyes swung from Rogue to Logan and a few team members hastily moved out of the direct line between them. So it had come to this. The other X-Men had seen the way they circled each other these days and didn't want to be in the line of fire when the confrontation came. By all appearances, they were expecting it to happen now. 

Jubilee and the Professor were the only people in the room not affected by the mounting tension. Jubilee was adding something to a spreadsheet she had recently taken to carrying around. Rogue just knew that there was a betting pool going on as to the outcome of her relationship with Logan. She'd be damned it she was going to let anyone win today.

Rogue held her chin high and waited for the Professor's reply. Xavier looked up from his steepled hands, calm and cool as ever. "Of course, Rogue. Why don't we talk after the meeting?"

She nodded her acceptance and sat back down. Turning she looked for Logan, to glare at him triumphant in her defiance, but he was no longer in the room. Her grand gesture of rebellion felt empty.

Afterward, Kitty and Jubilee walked with Rogue to the Professor's office. Kitty was trying to be supportive. Jubilee, on the other hand, didn't hold back. "What on earth do you think you're doing?"

Rogue kept her eyes straight ahead, still a little hurt over the betting pool. "I could use the change. Besides, it will give you two more space."

"You don't need to move to Cali to do that." Jubilee had resorted to walking backward to look Rogue in the eye. "Just move up to Wolvie's room."

"Are you suggesting I throw myself at him and continue to be taken for granted?" Rogue paused outside the office wincing at her own words. "Are you?"

Kitty shook her head. "No, honey. It's just-"

Jubilee cut in, "Logan will come around eventually and in the meantime, there is nothing wrong with getting some hot sex while you wait."

Both Rogue and Kitty stared at Jubilee slack jawed. Rogue finally stammered, "What the...forget it. I have a meeting with the Professor." Rogue opened the door as Kitty dragged Jubilee away.

Rogue collected herself as the Professor closed the file he'd been reading. The following half hour was spent discussing Ms. Frost's requirements and assuring him that she was serious about helping. In the end, he agreed that a change in scenery could not hurt for the few months she'd be gone. 

Exiting Xavier's office Rogue ran into Logan, literally. He'd been waiting outside and after removing her face from his chest; she gave him an apologetic smile. It would have to do in place of a verbal apology for running into him, for wanting to leave, heck even for following him like a puppy for so long. 

Her voice was untrustworthy at the moment with him so close. So close she could reach out and touch him, simply lift her hand and run it through his hair like she had done all those nights ago. The thought of it, of his body pressed against her, made the heat pool between her thighs. 

Logan had his entire argument laid out in his head. When Marie had persisted with the idea of leaving the school at the meeting he'd been upset. He'd left the room abruptly, angry with her. He needed a cigar, maybe a drink to help settle his mind and think things through. Problem was he'd already smoked through his stash and was looking through his travel bag for a cigar and had come up empty handed. 

Only while saying a few choice words did he realize he was mad at himself, not her. All this time he'd taken advantage of her doting without giving anything in return. When he thought they might have straightened out a few things and got on the right track, he'd stuck his head back up his ass and let her down. And that was putting it mildly.

No, he had some major repairs to make to their relationship and he couldn't do that if one of them wasn't at the mansion. So swallowing his ego he decided he needed to talk her into staying. He was willing to plead with her if he had to; anything to give him the time to figure out exactly where she did fit into his life. He still didn't know the answer to that question, but he knew that he had to keep her from going. Even though she was still here, he'd missed her constant presence and had wondered if that was the face of things so come.

That had been his intention as he waited outside Xavier's office until Marie face planted into his chest. At the close proximity, he completely forgot his entire defense. He'd instinctually put an arm around her waist so she wouldn't fall over. The only thing he could think of with her in his arms was kissing her. 

Yet he'd fucked up monumentally not only once but twice and he knew kissing her would be the wrong approach. When he was sure she wouldn't fall he let his arm drop. She stared at him, her hand rising almost to his hair before she stopped. Her scent hit him hard; he breathed deep taking in even more of it. Maybe kissing her wasn't as far fetched as he thought.

Rogue saw his nostrils flare and knew she was dead to rights. She did the only thing she could think of; avoid him, walking to the elevator like she'd never seen him. 

Damn him if he didn't follow, slipping in right before the doors closed.

They stood silently in the elevator; she wanted nothing more at that time than to escape to the safety of her room. A month had passed since their last shared elevator ride and a passionate kiss, that same amount of time since he'd thrown all that away to shamelessly flirt with Jean. 

She had taken it in stride, after some yelling and a fit of tears, and looked at it as a sign. A sign that she needed to change, that she was stuck in a rut and wouldn't be able to get on with her life if she didn't do something different. She'd made small changes at first trying to break bad habits. 

Rogue had already dropped game night television; it was mostly a holdover from her dad that had allowed her to spend time with Logan. She didn't need to do that anymore. A tweak or two to her schedule made sure she didn't 'randomly' run into him during the day. She'd even gone as far as to change what she wore in the attempt to make herself into a different person. Wearing long skirts and dresses made her rethink the way she moved, something she hadn't done since shedding all those protective layers of clothing.

Then at the meeting, Professor Xavier had mentioned Ms. Frost needing a volunteer to help at the San Francisco school for several months. Rogue had seen it as a golden opportunity to put some much-needed distance between her and Logan. The only hitch in her unexpected plan to leave was how he had handled it. He took off all the time, so it hadn't occurred to her that he would react as he did. 

Logan took advantage of Marie being lost in thought to push the elevator button for his floor instead of hers. It wasn't until they were halfway down the hall that she noticed the change. Quickly he guided her by the elbow to his room before she had the presence of mind to protest. 

Closing the door behind them he hoped to lay out the case he'd built earlier. Instead, he was met with anger. 

"You can't just push me around." Rogue stood, hands on her hips, eyes narrowed, but her scent was thicker with arousal than before. 

It clouded his thoughts, made him want to press her up against the wall and finish what they started so long ago. He scrubbed a hand through his hair. "We need to talk. Without an audience."

"Maybe I don't want to talk." She crossed her hands over her chest, but she knew her voice had lost some of its conviction as she thought about giving him a chance to explain. 

"Just give me a minute."

With a heavy sigh, she was about to say okay when she spied his packed bag by the door. Stepping over to it, she picked it up holding it out at him. "Really?"

"It's not what it looks like."

"It looks like you were planning on beating me out the door," she said letting the bag drop to the floor between them. Why should it bother her so much? She was planning on leaving, even stated as much to the entire staff. 

Logan felt the anger rise in him at the fact he'd once again, without thought, put an obstacle in their way and gotten her back up yet again. Another hurdle they would have to navigate around. He stepped over the bag and walked her back to the wall. "Give me a chance."

"How many do you need, Logan?" She let the sarcasm seep through to hide her true feelings. 

He was too close. His presence sucked the air out of her lungs, leaving her hot, confusing one kind of passion with another. If she stayed by the door, she could easily step out into the hall to safety. Even as she acknowledged this she knew she didn't want the protection the hallway offered. She wanted Logan; she wanted the allusive welfare only being in his embrace brought. Security from her thoughts and all of their problems. 

She needed space, needed to get him away from her so she could think clearly. A spur of the moment decision made her push him away, trying to make him step back. But her hand on his chest felt right and she couldn't muster anything beyond a weak shove. 

He grabbed her wrists, not understanding what he was attempting to do. The move to stop her turned into him roughly pulling her against his body. She huffed looking up at him, desire flared in her eyes. Her scent overwhelming him. They hung suspended in that moment somewhere between anger and passion until it was finally broken by his mouth covering hers. 

By the time her back hit the wall she was already working at his belt buckle. God help her, she knew there would be no interruption this time and she was glad. She bit his bottom lip when he thrust into her. He pressed her hard up against the wall as she pulled his t-shirt over his head. The buttons of her blouse soon pinged into the distance when he clawed at her shirt. 

There wasn't enough friction. Not enough movement in that position. She pushed them off the wall. He struggled to walk as his pants crept down to his knees. They bounced onto the bed with her on the bottom. 

Rogue braced herself, digging into his flesh. Pulling him deeper as he pounded into her. She admitted with what little thought she had left that they were destined for this. Their first time was never meant to be gentle. It wasn't in their nature. Fast and hard somehow felt right.

He was above her, lost in the drive to fill her. She was breathless beneath him, his name repeatedly being wrung from her lips. Logan wanted this to be so much more for her than what it was. Not to mention that it was doing nothing to convince her to stay. No matter what he told himself, a good hard fuck wasn't the argument he needed to give her. 

Tensing she clung to him when her orgasm hit her. She watched moments later, the veins in his neck bulging as he growled in release. With one last effort, he rolled them over so she straddled him.

Rogue lay with her head on his chest listening to his heart slow to normal. "Damn."

He grunted in question.

"Jubes probably won the pool."

"Hmm..." Made sense to him, Jubilee knew a lot of what went on in the mansion. It wasn't the first pool she'd won; she was good at reading people even if she never sounded like it. 

Marie squirmed, filling his head with other thoughts. He began to run soothing circles low on her back and placed a kiss on the crown of her head. Logan wanted this to be the end of problems for them, but he knew that it would take more than sex to fix what was wrong. He had resolved though to make the second time softer. She let him undress her and show her the tenderness he felt for her.

* * *

Rolling over, Rogue looked at the clock. It was late; she could probably make it back to her room with minimal fuss. She crawled out from under Logan's arm and began to search for her clothes. 

He'd propped himself up to watch her. "Stay."

She didn't say anything as she examined her blouse. Tossing it over the footboard, she found his t-shirt and tugged it on instead. Sitting down on the edge of the bed she pulled on her shoes. She finally spoke, "I can't."

"Why not?" Logan asked, reaching out for her.

She took his hand and held it, playing with the spaces between his knuckles. "I love you."

He hesitated; he shouldn't have, he knew he should return the words and smooth things over. But he wasn't sure, didn't want to take a chance and be wrong. That act in and of itself could hurt Marie more than not saying it in the first place.

Letting go of his hand she leaned in for a kiss. "And that's why I can't stay," she whispered. Getting up, she straightened her hair as best she could. "I'm hopelessly in love with you."

Logan remained quiet; he didn't have an argument for that. She smiled at him, and he could see the sadness in her eyes he couldn't combat. He pulled her down for another kiss, hoping to convey his need for her.

Resisting the urge to let him make love to her again, she stood, waving a hand at him and the bed. "This doesn't change anything, we're right back where we started. You still can't decide how I fit into your life. And you're a habit I can't quit."

Rogue turned to leave and paused with her hand on the doorknob. She couldn't trust herself to look at him. "I'm still going to San Francisco, Logan." The door opened and she was gone.

He eased himself back on the bed. A week and she would be gone, miles away. That disturbed him more than he cared to admit. Was this how she'd felt every time he'd left? 

Logan wasn't sure he liked that feeling, the feeling that she wouldn't be there for him to talk to, argue with, or even just to sit down next to her.


End file.
